 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.$ g% g+ o6 V, Q( c" Z2 m: Z% k& V& P
- o6 d- S; ~' L9 V/ N5 r, XI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
; v- F, ^ v5 C# \ a x! a( g7 ?) @; l1 j$ n
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
/ Q C! ]$ Y2 R! ?
, L! y* o- s7 v! h. iI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
* q. }9 f& `, U- s: g- ?% Q2 o3 w+ F; f1 S
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?": N/ l& Y, ^( L9 V. n: u! C3 @
) o$ i& G* N; y: _8 iI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?& W" f; g9 @+ m0 N$ J5 V
V+ |8 I- J/ J+ o1 z1 u- vAnd the second one was:
4 e0 T& [! W( g$ M7 B3 ~2 O) u' J6 N3 S
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
3 V/ a) H# U8 z$ ^: l& `, z# t2 `0 b3 e* V5 ~
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
5 l" z2 L/ P6 q
' l7 F, S+ V$ L! O. B3 i' m"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
/ K) d+ f( B3 w
@+ p0 y, Y6 F Z0 VI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?) @+ ^: @" c9 \9 I6 X5 @3 C7 M
2 L' Z2 A/ o5 q6 d0 Y
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!' K; T7 b' m+ F' E& ]% B
& D9 w( y1 @% K# A A ?9 c6 l
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
/ \+ \* V" I$ f$ G; r) G4 a$ a3 s8 e
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"0 F! b4 u' H; n
) f1 j$ L2 n5 s1 X
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”4 ^, w6 ?4 l- C" x3 G
0 B- U4 R! m3 l# S; z
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.4 b7 `+ C3 E. T$ [2 \& x
1 p2 o# R. c! t
Thank you very much!
, I9 e1 o9 m6 A7 ~/ j. a. L" k8 m$ z" v. }& J) @
==========================& ~' t9 K* u9 ~0 t5 h9 G& A3 d
3 t8 z; C2 o6 a, X$ G
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
/ ?* `5 n3 a( E2 g: H
) S; a# W$ {6 _6 m( b1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.# t+ u9 C1 S. p
* H M! s; Y; g, Y: @! F& ^
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
z- \' L8 y* {1 n& A$ U* R
8 ?9 `: `% v" \! }9 z"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
& v. q* P6 J0 x' s
6 d+ H& z; s8 _9 v+ R* Z. cJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".3 j, l1 Q9 s7 @% T
" Q) C/ E1 M" Q$ d, N0 i: ]+ P
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
7 P P1 t$ |2 B# s J# H8 I( ]' v4 I2 o# I4 ]6 j! }1 E
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
