Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ n) @8 e1 E: i0 G

  ?5 b; b3 ~9 H1 g  m9 j3 @JOB DESCRIPTION:
% B# x! I% ^" k  b' ~# F  tLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 W4 z2 u% H: G! F0 [) Dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& d1 X+ g: v4 h1 Z, G0 }endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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% r" k& I( n# e2 q- h$ vRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
( t& K2 |/ o' d, a1 J: vMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
. n  X3 @2 @7 I- H) G! TMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 Z+ U2 M$ T5 G, e5 @) EAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
; _$ M. D* P: Pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( M) C. V2 s: Y. Z  XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 ^# e9 a- [- Z; [+ Gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  a7 Z$ J8 e6 j7 n# VMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' @- R, F8 v- g* D0 m3 Jan embarrassment the next.
  T# ]  Z! f7 E+ AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 H% z" W' ?, N2 v5 M' @! [- kMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
: m8 n) y; ]' c, G' z/ ~the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

+ u+ y# q/ ]" h! oPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 R9 T; ?5 Q% RNone.
! ?/ y1 a8 |5 E5 V4 J3 G" @  [Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ g, h* K4 P4 Iupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
8 x/ n1 Z. O0 \% j5 s" g) o
8 T) ]1 y$ r' t! T" d
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
: N4 p, c) ^0 U3 O. m3 J. KNone required, unfortunately.
4 X( }* q5 h5 U( R* {1 MOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

) P* B+ y: a0 |) @# ZWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" b* H$ g' G+ ~5 y; N2 F+ r/ jGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
; Y# V/ \* e6 w: vbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
, z' K4 G, j$ ]0 C# B9 cWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 h+ {  A; n1 S9 vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" i: ^; f9 V+ W. d: g6 P! |no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
% W+ G$ V7 T, q* Q9 `' |# C, m
. W, C7 p: s" ~unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

5 a% q2 ~) E2 g( t# T0 Kfor life if you play your cards right.
, `  t) Q5 ]7 I% q

! j: m. e5 g* Y) `6 Q

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


6 Y  s) y) i. y, i$ v9 n. Z
/ f. Z6 g; h( P1 n' L8 oForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 Y! }1 y' ]2 Dletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.