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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.; v; n; ^/ I4 _$ n! R
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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) T5 y4 f: T* D' u9 |& Y9 F 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder" t( X) x. K6 v- e
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .* R: i8 Q8 I/ A2 p, J9 t. l& A+ U
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
\8 l" @/ ]" f0 x2 ~0 j) V' @& Pcapital of Canada ./ i9 M2 |; A4 P! b8 X
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
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) [6 \1 D& v+ g# E' P; F# v% l 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 O9 s7 |2 `0 {( b
8 L% j4 `4 a3 M: F: C4 ? U 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money- a: p/ C. H z) y9 M$ x
on a 15 year holiday ?. T3 ?/ T$ }& s+ F
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
3 n4 f1 X9 {6 a. Q5 d& ?years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 M$ i/ C. z3 t) \, r) }: S
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& K" ]/ M! \* W/ h; { THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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8 q: h2 Q& {2 G1 N1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
]% o; U7 i) J @$ R- `' dis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
" z% |# a$ z3 R) A# {! g1 G7 Bown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest, G1 {! n2 V& w" ^9 a* `
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires% W2 {3 R' V: N/ x3 X6 F8 ^3 j5 q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell: l2 P! i/ P+ v
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.( i! }8 ^- \5 N5 N# U3 H) J. U1 A
8 ~% ^+ I/ h. z1 @6 T, u T' {4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, Y( B8 _9 e* |( n" ` c/ E+ ^
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that8 O+ Z" ]( m; x9 D) R- |
can get you shot.
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, l2 I. `- j9 ~# I2 V- o/ S3 B3 e( K: a6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
/ m; ~, X3 t( P6 D% kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next( F9 c# @. ~: g- \: g- @3 V
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! k+ ~& ~3 b* w% A- ]more construction starts everyday. ?# ?( ]2 A9 M2 k( n
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
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squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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7 `- ~. G% G: l& Y0 p R0 N8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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v8 X/ \' o# t; L9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
& v, E& \& F1 j( g0 `& ?1 fshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km3 n2 X& G L4 B4 L( S5 \% D
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
Y# y* v' W0 z; Z) Eaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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$ T: v4 n) V% ~! y, \5 g3 K0 k11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 Z; N+ B% L! H9 zlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
4 b0 m) p ?$ B# m, ablankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) Q* ^* I5 y9 W. m: o4 |virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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