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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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, z( U+ _: M$ Z |/ j; x5 j" N" O2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush$ {4 I' N! p Y6 S0 g- [( b
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday0 \0 r, U! n0 N, q' M6 l
morning.* F6 {' ~: X( ]* a& ? C) X
( b1 y( G4 @8 T) T. T2 N* f3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
) r# A: O# f) E& Oyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a: N, p$ C1 Z i4 \4 Q% v, `+ a4 D
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.% ?$ p3 X0 |) K* Z3 g: J
7 P( d: _$ m+ _6 |9 D4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its& X- p0 v3 R1 j7 {2 X2 \
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& z! e- u- |" \ \" N: R) m
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires3 p o0 t) C% y9 D4 i4 B( g
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell% }# t2 ~* S3 h0 {2 V
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.( X& L2 r J( B3 n1 s
) k4 l6 b2 c6 R* W2 m2 F& ^# I5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
8 H8 X. _. d' t" n* ncussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
$ H. ^4 P2 n) c* c1 f0 w: M& Jget you shot.' I$ {. n: ?* g% Y# [
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
8 ~0 X) M' q% ]9 S2 Y' o( shas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
: f4 A0 h* g8 xthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
# a8 r# E3 c' u, o7 R3 Y' `you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
. M2 M4 ^9 c' }" G; F7 p1 Y3 B8 ivehicle through the intersection.
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- m4 E) R) W8 f- f8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour! F0 m o5 \+ Y9 z
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
+ d3 u% k9 \( N' B! q7 a$ _day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
8 S( c1 Q& z2 G2 ?( zmore construction starts everyday.2 e- V! @# L" a6 X0 L
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
5 q$ h t: [7 b5 R- l! Ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 c) l& }+ E8 t! f6 x1 H% m
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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! K- |, v2 n# C- l0 I10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same/ t! r! w, e% H
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye, g7 t5 x2 E- O7 q# a% \
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
8 w' g; F6 Q6 }- }) o: b2 E66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
, A; \0 {8 S/ P! Pshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
" R" e8 y3 @! q# L, _# CActivated.'
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8 y5 j+ ?- S( y/ j12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,; K6 H. k. D4 ]4 Q& Y( [5 O! f
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
1 y3 Y2 N# Q1 _; p9 m" s/ kaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot., X9 H- q+ C. A' D) [
: H& o# w% T% ^8 x. Q/ Q( G8 Q13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur9 F: G: }$ s# i5 f& U6 V) H& G1 o
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and" c2 J& l; G' a8 _4 v
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
