Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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' i* V8 C6 o' V6 o5 s6 E. R* UJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 Z; B5 b4 n0 J3 `5 hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
- @# e6 e& b4 _; B, b! E$ `3 hprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
8 n/ E; a% P) Z, |5 BExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
: O' F! d" {# }) c- g& }- C1 c" BThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 A' ?. X+ {9 n1 {5 ~" vAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" b3 M9 C5 m1 Rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
) K" s$ c1 t2 g' F7 bMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  c0 W- I8 Y' Wand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) P; J4 n% k& P5 p% Ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" l7 p. l2 E* n* \Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* l2 U8 c! |7 e8 e0 ?( Z7 sMust assume final, complete accountability for
! L! ^1 j8 L" N$ }' o1 b$ Ithe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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4 ~; `9 G: Q2 I5 E3 YPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
% _5 I. h+ B: d: ]4 D8 C8 Dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

# \  X& [0 H! n' c2 c8 ZWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" H; g1 K( j6 D5 mGet this! You pay them!
' c. Q. r$ z0 C& M% J0 pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 i0 v3 l# G$ O( _; ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( W% F% @, I. yWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
6 T) v3 n' }; X7 K/ X; b% rThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) N5 L+ K+ q, Q* t2 ino stock options are offered,
  o4 c& C4 Z8 g& Othis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

7 d  r  s. y1 O2 O0 }2 A; Ufor life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" G( ]. J: }& S8 K' A2 g; H5 }letting them know they are appreciated
8 g( D8 N) S6 C% Efor the fabulous job they do...
8 Q3 O  `* S! M% L) Q% kor forward with love
0 ^6 k- A, G( K! @5 Y3 Zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.