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) T9 W" B6 b. [5 DWhy did God make mothers?4 y8 h% Y, i8 {8 {
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
+ U- a1 B' {+ o1 Q: W. U2. Mostly to clean the house.
) i! ^1 f5 @+ c# f; Q% q3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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How did God make mothers?
5 c5 x# ?) Y/ X8 L7 H. z1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
) P k2 x/ T3 F$ s2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
0 F$ M' b0 o6 s+ G) d3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. & a( m) Z8 O+ ]9 V* t) K
( x: s- }7 x" y3 @3 pWhat ingredients are mothers made of ? : f. k* p0 K$ o- v, Q
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
, \6 |# s; g7 W( Z) K) c7 p" @) J2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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# J1 v* I9 _9 M7 g2 |1 EWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? / c$ b! r, `3 r
1. We're related.
0 u8 |) M# C' J8 x, {# Z$ x' O1 W; T# p2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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What kind of little girl was your mom?
4 a' Y. J" k/ L' Q: P. a6 c1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
4 Q- O2 M9 c/ p. P C+ q) a5 j2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
# G3 l, ~1 ]5 \/ v' F* h! ~3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
0 c/ A9 p3 S4 f1 \' L1 k9 h1. His last name.1 J2 i* q. u& u) \$ O" j
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
6 O! J3 V5 O% W4 @7 z3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 1 t8 Q; r" ]3 b" m" O! e: {! Q! o! ]) |0 i
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Why did your mom marry your dad? # Y4 T4 o1 K- p9 U* I
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. * t9 s+ C c% k7 M! s
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
' F$ l1 ], r2 R8 U! s, w _3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. 1 _, }5 r3 e# J" f/ X& D6 n
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Who's the boss at your house? : {; |& u% v) t8 M1 A
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. , i+ I, ]( D9 G4 [$ b( u
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.8 B$ M# {7 ?4 k" o7 w
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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& Z5 q g- t4 W& K( \5 _' c vWhat's the difference between moms & dads?
5 U' r7 |1 B1 C* M2 q1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
/ `5 f4 n( Z# I7 p# o7 q2 ^$ F2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
6 n2 D1 j: N# w+ E9 N: ~3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
6 m4 e5 l7 j# s) D: R7 ~" n4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 3 k" [1 Z( H8 d2 y$ n+ x$ T( A
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What does your mom do in her spare time?
q# o/ `, |0 S3 L. G+ I/ I- I1. Mothers don't do spare time.+ P! T) e; @! y8 N1 m7 q, [
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
+ V2 @( d9 D" }2 g: t7 d& G1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
' @, k! ?) _1 R1 P% E; e J2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
; J3 P+ o0 x w( p9 L5 B' \1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. + ~! w5 A8 n( R. K
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.* V4 y5 p' ~8 ~
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. + |- V- q6 v. q8 Z# }5 a+ F
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