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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA2 t, v! ]% r: L% |
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
; J' z- h- `6 Q. t2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. & Y! M4 X" m8 h1 K1 Z( [
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 6 L* {& P1 q9 w# F% {
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. 6 e( K1 P# j, _2 ~+ _) \! ]
5. Weed $ t9 u/ D$ ~* [
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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; E% G1 S. ^1 V1. Big rock between you and B.C. : b. }2 N" z8 ?% \8 k; x" I0 ~
2. Ottawa who?2 C5 i6 H/ a; \5 E+ W
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. " _: F# i+ V( U! [% u
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
% m, p- }2 Z! f% d0 M1 s! T" ]5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
% ^% J( z# |# U6 A6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat.
. Q# S: F( g; W, p) K% d# s: l* P2. Your province is really easy to draw. * j2 y' t6 Y1 \
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
4 D4 O( ~% V8 Z' C( i$ m4. People will assume you live on a farm. ; B9 ] |) q( I, h8 I9 O. e' U# Y0 [( c
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA ( s2 {" o. }) @+ g+ g
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2 L4 e4 \9 |- L- k2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. % s5 q6 v1 t9 b1 D
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
' ]& j& D& c% f' Q4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
3 A. }5 h5 S" S" t5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. 2 ]- ^, n& k: n; d9 D* z
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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. f) `: {" j0 z1. You live in the centre of the universe. % |. \$ T3 K5 k4 w' n
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
0 C1 _/ y% w9 L( l3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. + M4 ]3 p6 c* }& ]2 {, a
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable $ ] T' S7 E* y- t0 N
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. - e7 g' @5 p: Y( h6 a
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. & t. X# U! D, y5 E# k+ @' a
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
; z/ u1 E$ F' dTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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, f% X/ f& w, Q" o% GTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
5 O0 b; x% K2 d6 w$ b9 @% S2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 3 O6 Z- Q6 |6 t! K/ k, b9 {
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick / N) ^2 k# `* y/ ]8 K" A
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA ) k' p7 j! ?1 n
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
X' x6 z- e4 t. {' @* |2 v5 N2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
2 F9 M4 k: D- u, P. N2 w3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 7 O; o3 V6 N- d6 Y
1 O" J$ H5 d4 _# m+ C# X2 V/ H1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
4 L) E" o6 U- m; q) Z' ? y2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 6 N& a9 G5 n/ i( }" ~+ A
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. ! g8 R4 x, L4 u$ [
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." # e; e5 v+ T( ?8 |0 Y9 ?) z2 U
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
8 I: M) N6 X5 e0 {6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. & l! r( m( ?/ }) c C) a8 [: ?9 Z
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND " [. y( R, B! r# Q
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 4 |9 k; l3 ~0 @! n
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. * z4 e9 k- A1 M, y
3. The workday is about two hours long. ; M* g6 t# }+ {( x* l5 g& J
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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