Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 }/ v* i3 t- o2 ^) ~* TDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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/ \. V" C4 m& P( lJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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% T, ~- f- ]$ d" Q( c5 z8 ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 E" e9 t. I" d, H4 lCandidates must possess excellent communication
; `1 h1 `1 X$ w% m  Dand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, G/ @! s/ B  Jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ T: l4 g$ Q! H% ]endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
# l4 n% E5 ]' j6 ]8 i$ J5 l, xExtensive courier duties also required.
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2 t! p! J8 ^' y- ?  L4 o5 @# wRESPONSIBILITIES:
: n6 u% @& P6 N# Q1 j5 `The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% E# r' [+ g/ p7 Muntil someone needs $5.
6 m2 ]% h- V/ i) |; t( `* E- XMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 V0 ]  M* R* B/ g2 Q4 G2 OAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ q7 W6 A% W; N' _% {- u' u- nin case, this time, the screams from
) L+ B% r: a& nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 V" ~2 }% a0 X/ V+ p# N& Qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
3 e6 g" i: o# l0 u7 E5 w% ~Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& k) \9 S* S( yMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: A4 L$ u' H% {* }5 W% r8 a' q0 b$ Q( Dan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 t! z. v2 X6 S2 r6 v0 N0 }9 KMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
, B1 T  I/ h. b& p. q; {Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
$ r- y" n" z% d- P5 x7 I6 IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
5 R# ]+ ^; L' I- y% @0 xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 {* J: t8 |3 O$ {8 a8 l# ]4 g, Ican ultimately surpass you.

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3 n/ l" d/ P( }1 hPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
* V9 v5 M' v, G- Z! e! C5 [# ?On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# u" L, i" e/ V8 f/ h/ MGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 ~% q5 a- Z' s, _5 D+ d( jof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
  Q# ~- s, q7 P" e6 G. WWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! P! e  j0 h0 D* b4 B$ {you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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4 r. M& S6 R" Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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' k( J& \( j% |* T. C" R( Ufor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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* k4 J) A1 g: c  K% yForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
3 ?/ T( Y6 O6 w/ dfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.