鲜花( 1394) 鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 4 ^, L8 n/ N$ a! P5 |
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.% F. w: m( d n! V7 D
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.* k( Z) X7 S# n* d8 R8 c/ B: T
. H8 w, F/ r Y& Q3 I5 jLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ) x8 `, {+ n# T( y) |; q: `* A
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.8 a( X# l# f1 }& y. u) o
6 Z+ Q' b+ z* x H& Y Q% L& Z- ?Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6 G2 Y, o* P/ e2 H" J
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean." A' S/ b* N# m! h* m; R. W! z* d
5 O# M9 `" {" M2 ?Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..9 f! @; |; c* {& } X" z
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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2 `4 N1 W3 q [Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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7 M! J9 E Y/ l2 QTurn off shower.0 L1 l% g0 I8 Z1 n0 n
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.2 f$ c" s/ \! ]7 B
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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. C( g. _. |1 w6 q( b, UGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. , c, S+ R4 t, q2 ~0 Q7 S% {
7 H& n+ ]+ Z! Q7 i; |& v) B2 w( GWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ) g5 p1 I+ |" T0 B H
4 G1 k `7 x) T6 Z0 hReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. $ y* |& T, Q' }4 X( g5 @. C
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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# n2 J! M9 u( t. IWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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! b( x9 Y% q4 I' B W8 SLook at your manly physique in the mirror. - _! f! z# r$ d8 R
" p6 U: y2 l# o% C# b I- [Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. * ^+ ?7 y3 E# w- R0 Y+ W% k
1 j+ ]1 W l8 e& F( PBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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1 T5 n; r" @" ?$ SFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. $ n( w( c0 p) A( H' ]3 g' t
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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0 Q1 r+ \- \9 Q) @Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. % a2 V2 U. p; V* B! p, q! d$ V
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Partially dry off.# S+ Y- r0 F% X# {
, J8 l+ l! v7 N- u& {. Z, d8 pFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 3 J) T( u$ Y$ G4 H* d1 B) r
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. : r1 Z% U, ^" V$ W/ G/ B$ k
5 E8 u# G7 Y6 { c2 C. y9 \' `Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. " M3 u$ q% s2 b$ U1 [& b
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. " u! T' P' R9 ~& d) |/ P# g
7 p9 N1 j b, n3 a% ]6 P, P3 v$ R/ FIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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