请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
3 x2 X0 y8 k5 U  A5 V5 h3 F8 L( TBesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
/ O! C% p/ S0 F! k! q) u- SHowever,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
8 @1 d, G: c3 t1 d9 C7 HThanks a lot!!!
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Formerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
' G4 O" D& C9 r, Y              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
1 e, Q! Q! O/ u+ N& U9 C              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
2 u% k/ t4 [2 d4 W6 r              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
( ~$ h0 b1 O9 s* L             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
( n7 R2 x2 K/ m% z             somehow I lost myself inside again
. d$ [- f! D+ w/ ?Now,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
( A" L2 J# f9 P! K             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Finally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
2 Q& h# t, V* y# T8 ~- l- R: |Basically, I almost finish this poem
               I am 一个人de精彩
               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
) }9 L* u9 d! i/ a- w. oBut........         
Ironically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”
7 t3 W) W0 L  D. [+ K2 J7 `4 ~  }
; s; _; [5 v6 H% |) i! R; j% Y卖糕的，写外国诗就得忘中国字吗？
$ }7 z+ x: e$ N7 O# r# Y
) Y4 o; Y8 \& T! [  X' x

Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
# a7 K% A4 N; v# E- n& p, VSomehow I'd find something wrong with us
7 r$ B* l: A7 m0 W7 G6 H; y7 G) i2 a2 {Somehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
& A9 f) s/ C' z# I& J' xSomehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
/ n9 ]5 ~3 `+ r5 K0 hSomehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
Somehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness

2 Z# w" a# v. w; xSomehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
Somehow I realized you were still in my heart
Somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
9 ~& f% F/ g# m$ g1 hSomehow I lost myself inside it again

2 G  F! R6 K- [; HSomehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
; S7 S9 _9 p4 `* YSomehow I discern that I am still in love with you
Somehow I am the only brilliance of myself
6 s  x- Q6 u6 @& F% A  S5 CSomehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
================================================
However, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday
  [! S9 o2 ]$ C  e7 K* r$ m1 P; V
somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
4 p* ?7 g* Z7 m. [+ o, g=====================================================================
somehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
: l* Z. A9 Q% W7 V. Z* o% y我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

! j& h- n  v/ \8 F% E" @# m9 |& D哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？