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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA$ l; S0 N. f; e( k# z s) i B
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1. Bring your own house.# {% M; w1 G4 Q P: G- K( Q4 H
, w% J5 }0 m/ w) L8 A5 E2 N 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
5 s8 }5 U6 g5 ^" qhospital.
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- H- {- m! a1 K% v8 p 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
& g5 V& b F* ycapital of Canada .
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; |6 O% T6 p! {6 ]* `# b 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 p% R m$ |% S6 S, ~capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
4 B! n; Y7 ^6 I" @$8.00/hour.' `2 h) [+ q) h- g: Z3 H
) L% H G7 F; }& z% H4 X& I8 w7 k" ~ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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: q" N6 `0 b8 A1 c" l7 y 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money0 {( x: @) o/ T6 z
on a 15 year holiday ?& n! L. E% V$ w1 I6 N1 B0 U/ B
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 G1 K' \+ k ^0 k ]prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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8 M' W5 @1 S& N b7 w: A10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come" H1 f! x- L# D5 |3 j
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
+ M8 L: g4 ?' f1 K# F! Yyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :1 P4 y l4 X3 G! N
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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. v/ l! F0 o6 E4 M; i$ E2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
8 d( X# n* p6 F+ O( ois from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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; Y n% F8 h g( |# B) p3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
R' f; G, J1 Z8 I- n4 ^- Q$ \9 aown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& V3 L$ {) ?4 c+ M& w
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) Z2 F4 E0 u. a3 g& w6 Vgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell: C1 b: Z$ d4 Q. L; l1 l
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.$ @, ^9 `9 \9 m+ k: _ [
+ ]+ Y( k& I' q- F6 M9 k- Q3 p( t4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
" m7 c A0 C; N- Rcussed out, and possibly shot.7 U7 _" _$ _/ C8 }' E' T
; _+ x6 _7 k( c2 M! e5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that: s: W$ b1 e, J3 c+ c- ~- {- x
can get you shot.9 ~ d5 L$ [( A' \) x
' c1 e* R- i$ V9 e/ I, Z. i' x, E6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
# v3 m( H5 f9 \# f. M+ h+ n: Tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 N! Y% O# w, |2 n1 S* M8 p
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, \1 y3 c! ]: _
more construction starts everyday.
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d7 a0 }' x' V- ]! R2 r. I 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,& T+ U! w4 m. T8 ~* | a
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
! i/ A) D' u1 N( g( r9 msquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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/ H; l* R, _4 b w. K8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' J) d9 @ J( M. y) S8 ]
the same road./ G+ h- K1 J/ S
0 Z# |( i9 U y3 T6 S9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
( }0 z, J: }1 u! k1 a- Fshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
$ g0 o9 ^/ U" U- K8 i! l6 lactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" X, ?# L! H- u2 `) }& q* D5 j- m' b1 _
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" F% \5 J2 W: v }+ T2 t
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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7 T* [. d6 \! Z- X" c( {' a11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
* x+ N; G+ o$ g7 e9 \lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
z+ X6 V5 a9 e6 F3 ?+ b1 A* Yblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
; s* g: {- g7 f) Z% H" \1 _virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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